Problem Escapist Pillows

'Don't worry, I'll get us out of here.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Man entering shed with beer: ?OK Son ? tell your Mum I?ve gone on a mission to Mars and I could be some time! ?

"Not again!"

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

"With this invention...I can finally go to a time where everyday nuisances have been completely eradicated!"

A giveaway tan line...

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

They were out of bagels...

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.