Misanthropy Philosopher T-Shirts

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

Pop Culture for Teens

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I should've never studied canon law."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

The Three Kinds of People

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Business man sees himself as a shark

"I noticed a few browns."

"I don't believe in egrets."

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"