Misanthrope Sympathizer T-Shirts

Me vs everybody else

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"The government doesn't understand me."

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

The Downside Of Being Superman, The Man Of Steel

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

I HATE STUFF

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

"Brian and I were destined to be a couple. We both hate everyone else."

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"Stop trying to change me!!"

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"What makes him a wine snob? He's been talking about the cork for 45 minutes and he thinks we're still listening."

Cartoon showing a man wrapped in a web, stuck to a wall. His wife is saying: "What have I told you about antagonising the house spider?"

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"Apparently they come into houses to find a mate."

'Misanthropology.'

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

Sorry to hear about your accident.