Miracle Pondering Ponderer Pillows

Jesus' lesser known miracle at the wedding.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Idle parts

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

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"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Jesus wept

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

Various Birds of Pray.

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

Thomas Aquinas

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

Philosophy Department - Are You Really Here?

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"