Minimalist Humorist T-Shirts

"Do I need it? Does it spark joy?"

"He was never one to waste words."

'Ed, I think you need to cut back on the rear view mirror ornaments.'

'No, I'm not impressed by your massive CD collection, they're all internet service provider freebies'

The Funniest Cartoon in the World (Detail).

'A lower salary will allow you to simplify your lifestyle.'

"It may only be two sentences long but I've finally done it. Written the great male romance novel."

Coronavirus: Support for the economy?

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The Eggsorcist"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I said slime."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

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'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'