Mini-matchmakers Gifts

You've got to be my Valentine, Nicky.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

cuPad

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Better yet, let's call it a cure for the virus."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."