Mini-home Maven T-Shirts

'I don't think our marriage can survive in 394 square feet of living space.'

Let's get organized

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Lego Haircut

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

Non-Drip ?

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Pollock Painting Company

Bleak House

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

"Sheesh, I did NOT say we have to redo everything! Just look at some swatches with me."

"I thought I'd go slowly - maybe start with a few stuffed animals in the corner."

"Could I have another quick look at your references, Barker?"

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

Prison Wallpaper.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'I think the manager's about to complain about the floor being wet.'

"It's a new travel computer. It fits in your pocket. I suggest bringing your reading glasses."

"Well, I've noticed someone always finds time for the 'odd jobs' around here he wants to do!"

What are you doing? Everyone knows you don't paint original wood trim.

'OBSOLETE: Any really expensive Heating & Air Conditioning system you bought last year.'

"Trigger Warning."

"Mr. Colton, do we stand behind our products?"

"Oh look - a Bauhaus Bird Box."

'There were bound to be some objectors.'

At the Wilson family reunion.