Mindless Entertainment Fan Prints

"The following programme is guaranteed to be pure fluff, with no social messages whatsoever."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Big screen TV.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Miami Mice

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

As Seen Watching TV

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."