Mindful Shopping Guru Pillows

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Friendly bacteria

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

One Dollar, One Vote

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

Halal Meat Everywhere Shock!

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"I'll have all that, and this."

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

'My wife doesn't just allow for inflation - she helps it along.'

I'll have that first pair you showed me. Sorry, they were sold an hour ago!

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."

'Don't worry about it. You're buying compulsion is perfectly normal.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Today is catch-your-own day."

"People seem to be saying, Christmas is early, much earlier than they did last year."

Beverages. Drinking Water. (Some Assembly Required.) Oxygen. Hydrogen.

"If you don't give us your email address we show up at your house."