Mindful Moneymaker Pillows

'In my years of meditation, I've concluded that being a prophet without profit is not the path to nirvana.'

Investments: Join out meditation group - 'Get in touch with your inner greed.'

"Those little voices in your head, Mr. Dunlevy. . . are they passing on any insider trading tips?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'I'm beginning to think outside the box again - get my GP quickly!'

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Still looking for your inner-grown-up, Harold?

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all money had been in risk-free bonds."

'How would you describe yourself?'

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

"I guess I want what everyone wants - a billion dollars for being a jerk."

"And remember, son, perception isn't reality - money is."

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'

'I like green tea. It's the color of money.'

"The big money is in development? Now you tell me?"

As your money advisor, I advise you to make more money.

'All I want from them is a simple majority on things.'

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

"But the real money will be in inventing PAVEMENT!"