Mindful Mocker Pillows

Yoga Trash Talk

The Adventures of God

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

"Half-full. Those were the days."

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"My wife says I bore people to death."

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

'Motivational poster,'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

Freak Show

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

"Down here every day is Monday."