Mindful Homemaker T-Shirts

'Why don't you try going home and rearranging the furniture?'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Modern Parents

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"I think formula should be bottled-up, but not your emotions."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

Wallpapering.

Feng Shui

"It's the latest thing. A solar energy dryer."

Swiss Army Wife

'Can I just remind everyone once again that baby yoga is non-competitive.'

Drone Fly Trap

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

"...and, for what felt like the millionth time, she opened her phone for the diminishing dopamine hit that never satisfied."

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

Beaver cleaning a carpet.

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."

Breakfast in Bed for Housewife

"Am I a bad parent for giving him a weighted blanket?"

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less

"We tried a vegan Thanksgiving this year, but our family still showed up."

'You and your insensitive 'what is it?'!'

'Don't you love doing our dishes the organic way, leaving them in the sink and letting live sponges eat the food off of them?'

"This is our lazy Susan. We had her on the dining room table but she was just always in the way. So, we moved her in here."