Mind-meld Enthusiasts Pillows

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

Analyst and patient

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Let it out. Let it all out."

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

When psychiatry works too well!

'Now read that back to me.'

Everyone always thought M.C. Escher had an incredible imagination, but really he just grew up in an odd house.

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'