Mind Expansion Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

X-ray Psychology.

Unguided imagery

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'I'm exhausted from too much enlightened skepticism, fresh perceptive thinking, intellectual challenges and independent ideas. What I need is some simple cliche living!'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

SWOTs

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number