Milking Pillows

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

"They’re real."

Farmer has cows that give 1% and 2 % fat content.

Cow being clamped for milk.

'Be gentle with me!'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'So this is goodbye then!'

Pull the udder one

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

Milk sideburns

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Strawberry Shake

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

"Compared to that regurgitation phase, this is fine dining."

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"I think the milk's off!"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

"Fill it up!"

"If he says, 'got milk' I'm gonna bite."

"Wait. Let it breathe."

The Magic Float

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

Take me to your lactator!

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!