Military Leader Gifts

"Now go to the comment box under your picture and type, 'No matter what you've been hearing, I'm really a very nice person.' "

"As you know, all options are on the table."

'Field Marshall Chairman, if you don't mind.'

"Follow me, lads, for I have the largest collection of leadership and motivational tapes in the division."

A military leader gleefully describes war to a cowering psychiatrist.

'Let's see.... oh, dang! - 'Conquer Bosnia-Herzegovina'!'

'Conqueror's remorse.'

"Better put some space between us and the White House. Call God, and ask him to tell the President."

I brake for brass.

'Surprise! -- the National Lottery is a DRAFT lottery!'

Architect at a batllefield.

'It's not REAL unilateral disarmament - He just forgets where he puts things.'

United States General Pushing the World up a Mountain

'Surprise! -- the National Lottery is a DRAFT lottery!'

"No, Excellency. That was 'coo'...not 'coup'!"

'Of course I'm being defensive -- I'm the Secretary of Defense!'

'Dad, when you pop off, will I become the boss of YOUR army?'

'I want these soldiers out of here by 20.15.'

Joan of Arc: Leadership isn't what it is cracked up to be.

Haftar of Libya

Nuke-Invade-Subvert

"Uh - Oh, here comes old sourpuss."

"Higgins, in this company we wear suits and ties! You can appear in your army shirt as soon as you're the President of Ukraine!"

General with Peace Badge

"Wouldn't you want it to end sooner if you knew we were planning a fantastic après-war party?"

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"It troubles me that we're being led into battle by a person wearing a bow tie."

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Firing your advisors

A military leader lies dead with a pin in his back

The Commander-in-Chief

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

'Dear, do you remember where I deployed the troops?'

'What this place needs is a tank!'

"One doesn't want one's friends becoming too successful."