Military Fitness Buff Gifts

'General, I'm prescribing joint military exercises - yoga.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

7 brownies worth of exercise.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Military style hedgehog

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

Keep Fit.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Filling the Missile Gap

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"Especially modified you say..."

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Chili again?'