Military Discussion Gifts

Eye Contact Avoiding Americans Tell All!

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

Spelling a newspaper

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"Sorry, I don't have an opinion - just in case I get vilified on social media. . ."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"It's time we have a talk about the alternate facts of life.

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

Trump Tower