Military Cadet Pillows

'Barbarous Technicalities of Lawn-Tennis.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

The Camp, Pt. 1

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

Chaironaut

ACME Rocket Testing Company - Out to Launch.

Double Bass.

Late one night at the SETI project. 'Don't make us come over there!'

'Technically, you can't really consider these 'alien visitations'. No offence but this planet is the only dumping station in this corner of the galaxy...'

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

The final section of the U.S. Naval Academy exam.

When the army cadet officer was struck by lightning while using the barbecue... he couldn't help but burn the sausages!

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'Three words, Corporal: 'Advanced military technology',,, Relax,'

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

A known problem when doves fly over the barracks.

Water on Mars?

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Christmas package.

'Well he's always been a hero to me.'

'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...'

For centuries, I've trusted my gut. Which one of you talked me into using GPS? Recalculating.

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

Mars rover going through fast food drive-in,

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"I just called an Uber. The cost is $50 million, plus tip."

'Sir, the men want to know why veterinary officers can't use the same targets as everyone else.