Cadet Officer Pillows

When the army cadet officer was struck by lightning while using the barbecue... he couldn't help but burn the sausages!

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Family traits.

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

'Well this is awkward.'

A Rifle Competition in the North

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Leaders must focus on strategic planning and desired results."

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

At a Country House

'I had a good day. Raised everybody's blood pressure.'

Psychiatry patient/army officer - 'Terrorism is hell, war is hell, peace is hell, international isolation is hell, defense budgets are hell...'

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'