Cadet Officer Pillows

When the army cadet officer was struck by lightning while using the barbecue... he couldn't help but burn the sausages!

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'At ease, soldier.'

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Family traits.

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Does my bum look big in this?'

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'Well this is awkward.'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'I had a good day. Raised everybody's blood pressure.'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

At a Country House

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

Leaders must focus on strategic planning and desired results."

Psychiatry patient/army officer - 'Terrorism is hell, war is hell, peace is hell, international isolation is hell, defense budgets are hell...'