Military Budget Analyst Gifts

To the Barricades

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"Who's got the hammer?"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

That's What Happens

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Intolerable

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

The Thinker

Invade/Fail/Deny

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

Arms race - USA and Russia.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Committee on Deficit Spending and Positive Spinning.

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

EU

Run in the Family

US aid to Ukraine