Midnight Adventurer T-Shirts

"OK, give me something that says, it's two in the morning and you're feeling a little wild."

'It is a little-known fact that all our energy problems would be solved if kids weren't such total wimps.'

Late night teddy reading

2 A.M. on a Moonless Night

'I'd be more excited about you finding your ball if it wasn't three o'clock in the morning.'

'I did go to the bathroom, but since I was up anyway, I decided to drop in over here.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Fried chickens.'

"The club scene is really changing."

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"It's only the wind."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Cats out late.

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

'How do I know your ours?'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"If you sleep walk again tonight, make yourself useful, and take the dog with you."

Eyes on the Forest Floor

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo