Midlife Philosopher Pillows

'it's going through mid-life crisis.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'I've been using the same ball since I was three years old.'

"Sometimes, on a day like this, I can just catch the faintest smell of youth."

"He's concerned that he remains unsung."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"What's wrong with your dad?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'If you can have a midlife crisis, why can't I have a midchild crisis?'

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You've hit the age where your broad mind and narrow waist are turning into your narrow mind and broad waist."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

'I've decided middle age is hard to determine - it depends on how long you live.'

"It started with a little rinse to cover the gray..."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"I spent my thirties doing my twenties, but by the time I was in my forties I was doing my forties."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."