Midlife Crisis Survivor Gifts

Hummer driver.

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

Midlife: You Are Here.