Midlife Crisis Survivor Gifts

Hummer driver.

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Midlife: You Are Here.