Midlife Crisis Gifts

A middle aged man tries to stop time from slipping down an hourglass.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

7 Dwarves of Midlife.

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"

"I need to find out if I'm working to live or just living to work. Pull together the numbers that make sense out of it all."

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

'Weekly therapy should keep your insecurities in check...or you could buy a hummer.'

Change Machine.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"But if I'm not a senior collateral analyst for a high-volume, global marketing corporation...who am I?"

"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."

'it's going through mid-life crisis.'

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"I'd like to stay, sir, but time is running out if I want to start a rock group."

"Have you seen my mind? My wife thinks I've lost it."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Altar Ego

Baxter finally gets a life

"No, I like my job. I like my apartment. I like my friends. I like our relationship. I'm just not sure I like what it all adds up to."

'Can you tell me my present?'

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

"I've decided not tot become a father until later on in my fatherhood."

'Come home to your family, Harold. You are ruining the Chippendale's.'

"Every day I ask myself, 'Am I embezzling enough for retirement?' "

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Middle-Of-Life Choices

""Organ Collector" Isn't An Option."

"I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to exchange fourteen thousand six hundred of them."

"Yes. I think I've got enough for a man bun."

'Did you ever feel like you were just the control in an experiment being carried out on somebody else?'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! You only have thirty or forty years left to live!"