Middle Class Pillows

"Can't you tell? I'm a depressed and angry white working-class male."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

A Balanced budget.

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Curate talking to miners

Yesh Atid

Teacher faints: 'The day the entire 6th grade class turned their homework in on time.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The most sought after profession in 2010 is stressed out, middle class, soccer mom on medical marijuana.

"This is not the sort of America I envisioned, Tom-an America in which the middle class has to use public transportation."

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

'Mrs. Wingit, what's the secret to teaching middle school for 30 years?'

'Gosh, look mummy, a shampoo named after us!'

"Sigh...I'm getting old."

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

'Makes you look slimmer.'

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

Hire car is overtaken and dominated by 4x4 'Higher car'.

"Then we cut off their fingers, then we throw'em to the wolves..." "Why don't we give'em back rub while we're at it? I say we biol'em in oil..." The Committee for More Heinous Torture.

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

City 12-step programs...New! Middle child group.

"I've just realized that the hair growing out of your ears equals the amount that's receded from your head."