Middle Age Reflector T-Shirts

'A cocoon? Boy, he is having a mid-life crisis!'

'It's middle age spread.' 'I can't believe I'm not thinner.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Where Are They Now?'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

The Final Selfie

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Do you think we're a storybook romance transformed into a textbook case?"

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"