Microbial Mediator T-Shirts

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Collective Psyche

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"At least we agree to disagree."

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."