Animal Mediator T-Shirts

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Changing Minds

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Collective Psyche