Metropolitan Commentator Pillows

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

From Here You Can See Bugger All

"Can you hear me now?"

And now, for a rebuttal.

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Chess on TV

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

The United States of Amazement

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah