Messy Room Comedian Pillows

"Mum, I can't find my camouflage jacket."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Moses on the web

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"There, all neat and tidy!"

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Newborn Chaos

"Until you clean you room, I'm confiscating your iPod, your Xbox and your jester!"

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

Bed Fellow

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'My member requires some interest.'

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

'I've gotta go to the john. Have you seen my travel mug?'

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

Chicane

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"Bloody hell Mavis, the earth DID move!"

Pardon me! My being born was your idea, not mine!