Messy Couch Warrior Prints

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Binge Watch

'Don't look at me!'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Until you clean you room, I'm confiscating your iPod, your Xbox and your jester!"

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

The sofa freshly made up...

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

Out-of-Homebody experience.

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

Hooligans at Home

Will assuage guilt for money.

Playing The Youth Card

"I can totally see why dogs do this."

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

A 'Life is Sweet!' Moment

'Hang on while I find a pencil.'

Voice Recognition TV.

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

I thought I told you to straighten your room. (Originally published on 2008-01-08).

'This man is wanted in connection with a discarded crisp packet on Saturday 14 July this year...'

Beer in a mousetrap