Messiness Humor Fans Mugs

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Non-Drip ?

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

"Eye of newt, spit of dragon ... eww - there's a hair in the brew."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but with Jimmy it's next to impossible.'

Coping with Normalcy

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Apple Tree Dispenser

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

"Instead of cleaning my room, can we just seal the door and call it a time capsule?"

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

'Cream?'

Quasimodo's Belfie

How Jimi Hendrix picked his nose.

"Talk about playing hard to get! She won't let me bite her on the neck until after we're married."

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

'How was I to know the doctor's license was only a baseball card?'

'Got any road movies?'

A chicken blows a bubble

My goldfish has an odd look on his face, Al

Brain Fart

"Billy Bear will be helping me with this.. "

"I'm thinking the little fella's from Maine."