Message Evader Prints

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

I.T. Fear

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Binge Watch

Email Notifications

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

"He's not good with change!"

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

Stand in the Q.

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"I got an extension.'

"Can we, just for a moment, your Honor, ignore the facts?"

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"I'd like a word with you please."

"Mr. Rod, my dad wants to clean the garage tomorrow...and he needs me to pack boxes and haul tons of stuff. It'll probably take all day!"

"No thanks, just browsing."

"A book report? -- Wouldn't that be a copyright violation?"