Menu Upgrader T-Shirts

'Combination 3.0 dinner is also available in an upgraded version 3.1.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

National Coffee Day

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."