Menu Planner T-Shirts

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."