Menu Muser Pillows

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Cafe Philosophique

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

National Coffee Day

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

Uh

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

Try our frogs' legs

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

"You folks ready to order?"

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.