Menu Mixer Pillows

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Party time.

Fast Food Menu Selections

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

National Coffee Day

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"....and hold the garlic."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

What's the insect de jour?

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

A menu with risks and benefits

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"