Menu Maestros Gifts

Expectations vs. reality

"Remember-it's NOT keep-the-chef-in full employment week!"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What'll it be?'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

National Coffee Day

'Daddy is going off to stimulate the economy by making gobs of money.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

"How 'local' is the fish?"