Mental State Humorist Pillows

"You are completely sane, but I think I can cure you."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Fakir Shrink.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Psychobabble.

Shrink's Summer Job

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'Here is my proposal for making our department more efficient. It contains some of my best cognitive distortions.'

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

Therapist giggling behind patient's back.

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

'It's paranoia, but a very benign form - he thinks Al Gore is out to get him.'