Mental Health Advisor T-Shirts

'I'm going on vacation next week - If you have any problems, here's Oprah's number.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

America, are we learning anything?

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I didn't spark joy."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Window Treatment

Sigmund Freud.