Menopause Milestone Pillows

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Cardiac Recovery.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Church Basement Foodie

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"The cape comes off too."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

Don't have a hot flush....

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Medication for the elderly

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Menopause and the City

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'They want your underwear.'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

"Romance"