Memory Motivator Pillows

"Since attending the memory clinic, I no longer lose my glasses!"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

Sportsman and music

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

The 6 A.M. News Team

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

Image changing.

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

Every Day is a Gift

Fat Britain

'Since we programmed all of Sousa's marches into their IPOD's, production is up 27%.'

"It's Friday and the boss put 3 sugars in his coffee! It's going to be a good day."

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

Advanced Password Hint

"I think our mission statement could use a little more zing."

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

Now...what was I doing

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"