Megaphone Wielder T-Shirts

Hello, Rudy. What would you like, Uncle Mort? I'd like you to assure me you're paying attention to the election. With sugar 'n cream? I'm serious. This is the most important election of our lifetime. Oh. I see. Well, then … I, Rudy Park, promise to pay attention to this, the most important election in our lifetime since the last most important election of our lifetime. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I just love being lectured. STOP IT!!! Louder, please. I can't hear you.

The Art Student.

'There's nothing on.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Artist and Musician

Just call me Picasso!

Raphael

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Stupid Microwave

Hollywood producer.

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Waking Up With Rooster.

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

I'm color blind, please help.

Two New Paintbrushes

'Benson will you stop trying to dominate the meeting.'

Communication

"Dad hasn't been the same since he went back to school."

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

Tortoise and the Hare

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

Shouting

"Whoa, too much information!"

"I spent locked out including my painting."

Shepherd

Henri Matisse