Meeting Grandparents Pillows

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"They grow up so fast."