Meet The Parents Pillows

"Doesn't it ever irk you being Daddy's little girl?"

'And there's our little Steven, pecking out of his shell.'

"I'm afraid you'll find my father slightly foreign in appearance."

"Mum, Dad, this is Kevin, the snowman I'm building."

'Of course I respect your daughter, any girl who can drink six pints and still throw a good dart deserves it.'

"Just tell my dad that you're a brain surgeon!"

"Please excuse, Tom, Mom and Dad! He's worked the last ten years in a large city hospital and has no practice with chit chat!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Children's Parties

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Santa Claus's Mail

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'