Meditation Mishap Pillows

'It's very noticeable when I'm down wind from you. There's something dead inside, you should see a specialist.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

My God, I need to fart.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

Meditation

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."