Meditation Explorer T-Shirts

"Avoid sitting."

Zen Buddhist Diary

"Make it quick Carl, I've gotta 'be present' in about text minutes."

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

'Are you sure about this? -- Enlightenment isn't for sissies.'

The Power of Fatalistic Thinking.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"That's my new mantra. . . 'woulda coulda shoulda'?"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

The Map of the human brain

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Sigmund Freud.

My God, I need to fart.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Zenemies.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Unguided imagery

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"You left your demons here last week."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Meditation

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"It is my place!"