Medieval Story Lover Mugs

'The Merry Men are NOT groupies!'

Dragon and Dragoff

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

William Tell

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

"Ground score!"

"But I only restarted it three minutes ago."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

John Wycliffe

B.B.C. Watchdog

"Have a safe trip!"

'I'm drawing up a contingency plan just in case -- how would you like to drive the getaway car?'