Medieval Reenactors Pillows

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

El Cid.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Piracy on a boating lake

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

Knight school.

'I need a mattress that will provide a good knight's sleep.'